#Garrison keillor movie

The ER waiting room was lightly populated. All I could remember were a few lyrics of a song he and I sang together: All the good times have passed and gone, little darling don't you weep no more. He's a musician who used to play on my radio show. On my way into the ER, I met a man I hadn't seen in years I couldn't remember his name. (Think me an idiot, but I don't believe in calling 911 every time you feel woozy.) I very carefully drove 12 miles to the hospital downhill from my house in St. I careened out the door, listing slightly to the left. My head felt as if a balloon were expanding inside it-a mystical experience but not one you'd want to have.

She said, 'Are you okay?' I said (as I was brought up to say), 'I am just fine.' I started to say something witty about honey and locusts and whoa my mouth was numb, my speech slurred. I lay on my belly under the hands of the powerful Jamaican masseuse, Angelica, who was working on my neck and shoulders and telling me how good her life had been since she turned it over to the Lord Jesus Christ and let Him make all the decisions.

#Garrison keillor movie

+ When you watch a Star Wars movie and they say, 'May the Force be with you,' and you respond, 'and also with you.It happened on Labor Day, 2009, in Minneapolis, at a massage studio (the kind with the Japanese prints and the Peruvian flute music and the careful placement of the towel of modesty). + Donuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee. + You hear something funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can. + You know you are a Methodist when: it's 100 degrees, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service. *Methodists believe that it is OK to poke fun at themselves and never take themselves too seriously. *Methodists still serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color of the season and think that peas in a tuna casserole adds too much color. *Methodists are willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at the church. *Methodists feel guilty for not staying to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall. *Methodists drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament. *Methodists think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace. *Methodists believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.

*Methodists usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is their away of suffering for their sins. *Methodists believe their pastors will visit them in the hospital, even if they don't notify them that they are there.

*Methodists like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas. *Methodists believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud. *And if you are hungry, they'll give you tuna salad. I do believe this: People, these Methodists, who love to sing in four-part harmony are the sort of people you can call up when you're in deep distress. By our joining in harmony, we somehow promise that we will not forsake each other.

When you're singing in the key of C and you slide into the A7th and D7th chords, all two hundred of you, it's an emotionally fulfilling moment. We are too modest to be soloists, too worldly to sing in unison. It's natural for Methodists to sing in harmony. Many Methodists are bred from childhood to sing in four-part harmony, a talent that comes from sitting on the lap of someone singing alto or tenor or bass and hearing the harmonic intervals by putting your little head against that person's rib cage. But if you do this among Methodists, they'd smile and row that boat ashore and up on the beach! And down the road! If you were to ask an audience in New York City, a relatively Methodist-less place, to sing along on the chorus of 'Michael Row the Boat Ashore,' they will look daggers at you as if you had asked them to strip to their underwear. We make fun of Methodists for their blandness, their excessive calm, their fear of giving offense, their lack of speed, and also for their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese.īut nobody sings like them.